#42

A woman was sitting alone at a bar. She was drinking a gin gimlet. A man came in and asked if the seat next to her was taken. She made a show of looking around at all the other empty chairs at the bar and then said, “no.” She detected a Southern drawl and assumed he was a visitor to New York. Men who lived in New York were never that forward before 10pm, and it was only 8:30.

The man started asking the woman questions like, “Can I buy you a drink?” and “Would you like one of my oysters?” And finally, “I’m looking for a female companion this evening. Can I assume you’re interested?”

The gin made her hyper aware of the stilted cadence of his speech. The way he spoke four distinct syllables when uttering the word in-ter-es-ted.

“No.” She said, after eating an oyster. “You may not assume.” He raised his glass of white wine to her. “You talk real slow.” She added. “Where are you from?”

“You could call it slow,” he said, “ or you could call it friendly.”